WOW intimacy is so cool
Like I get to see this person interact with everyone else
And then I get to see them interact with me
And they say ‘hello’ differently and I hear ‘I love you’ and their tone of voice changes and it’s gentle and affectionate
And I am special to them
My shift today wasn’t particularly long, but it was excruciating. I am normally a very composed server and am able to comfortably handle many tables. Today it just never stopped though, and I have never been so close to hysterical. It got to the point where there was a 45 minute wait for food and we were turning people away at the door.
I made a lot of money though, and at this point that’s all I’m really working for.
Work closed at 5 today, because of the holiday. It felt unusual to be doing closing duties with light still in the sky. It was a hot and sticky day and the air was hazy.
I find this day every year feels the same. Enormous amount of energy all shift together, and it is palpable.
The drive home was filled with Quebec plates. Everyone returns.
This weekend was the final hurrah of summer. Cottages are closed up for winter, swim suits retire, summer lovers say goodbye. The kids go back to school.
There is a weightiness to this day. A foreboding of the months ahead.
I am wiped. Summer came in with such promise and excitement, and as always she slipped right by without me even noticing.
Autumn makes me feel anxious and old.
Each one that come around is like the wake of summer jostling me into recognition that another year has come full circle.
Autumn is my time of birth every year.
Today is my reminder to exhale and step into a new season.
I survived the summer.
Having a body that doesn’t look the way I feel is REALLY STRESSFUL sometimes